Take The D(efense)

Week 2 was full of highlights and fantastic performances but it had some duds and disappointments too. Whether you’re a Pats fan that saw a more familiar offense, a Raiders fan looking for a legitimate shot at a championship, or a Jaguars fan let down by a fluke week 1 domination, you’re only thoughts now are, “What’s next?” Well, I’ve got the answers for ya, (more or less), so grab a beer and park your rear because it’s time to see how your favorites will do in week 3.


This is going to match last Thursday and be a bore. Nobody enjoyed watching punt after punt last week and nobody is going to enjoy it this week. San Francisco has a “not the worst” defense which means Gurley will have some big runs and a TD or two but Goff will throw an interception and struggle to complete on third down. The Rams defense is also doing fairly well this year which means the Niners will have a hard time putting points up overall on account of the fact that their offense is shit. It won’t be entertaining unless you have Gurley on your fantasy team. LA takes a road win 17-10.


I fucking told you the Jaguars weren’t anything special this year. They had one good game and I said wait to bet on them. After week 2’s performance, you all know where I’m going with this pick. Baltimore has played at least well enough on both sides of the ball to maintain victories. Not that they’ve beaten top shelf teams but they aren’t playing one this week. The Jags defense will keep the score moderate but the offense will lose them the game despite Fournette’s best efforts. He has a future. Just not on this team. Baltimore wins on the road 24-14.


I’m eating all the crow about my Denver pick last week and I deserve it. They were at home and their defense is better than I gave them credit for. I won’t be repeating the mistake. Buffalo looks alright this year but mediocre at best. They don’t have an offense that can survive the Broncos secondary. Siemian and company will put holes in the Buffalo defense and CJ Anderson is going to continue to perform a very high level and keep his fantasy owners proud. Denver continues the week 3 road win trend 35-14. 


So maybe Glennon isn’t the worst QB in the league and the Bears defense isn’t AS bad as it has been in recent years. That will mean nothing on Sunday. Pittsburgh’s offense is back. They did a number on a tough Vikings defense last week. They will do even worse to Chicago’s defense which won’t break the hearts of Bears fans because by now, they’re just used to it. I see a very one sided matchup here with high numbers from Brown, Roethlisberger, and Bryant. Bell will hold his own but I’m sensing he’s declined a tad this year. Only a little. Pittsburgh with yet another road win 42-17. 


Last year this would’ve gone almost certainly in a different direction. I just can’t do it though. I say every week that I’m a big fan of Brees and I honestly feel bad for him because he’s leaving Carolina 0-3. Yes, the Panthers didn’t do as well against Buffalo as we might’ve thought but I take that as a testament to Buffalo’s improvements. The Panthers are a really solid team with a high octane offense and we have all seen the Saints defense get brutalized for two weeks. Brees deserves a better team around him. I feel for you, New Orleans. Panthers win at home 28-20.


This is an easy pick with a huge condition. IF and ONLY IF Bradford sits again, Tampa Bay takes a road win. The Bucs are hot right now, Winston is playing well, Evans is as good as ever if not better, and the defense is MONSTROUS. in fact, the Tampa defense scored 19 fantasy points, the highest of any defense last week. The Vikings have a great defense as well but the problem is the QB situation. If they start Keenum, they’re fucked. You know it. I know it. They know it. If Bradford is questionable on Saturday, they will sit him until week 4 and take the inevitable loss. Bucs win 24-17.


This will be the first sign of life for the Colts this season. You can try to argue that they almost beat the Cardinals but we all know Carson Palmer is playing like shit and nothing is the same without David Johnson. The Colts have also apparently learned their lesson and are sticking with Brissett. Frank Gore is running decent, I mean it just looks good for them, kind of, sort of. Wait a minute, none of that matters, they’re playing the fucking Browns. Cleveland is an abysmal wasteland that dooms any talented players that step foot on the field in a Browns uniform. Fuck Cleveland and anyone who still has faith in them. Indianapolis wins 21-10. 


I couldn’t laugh harder at the Jets than I did last week and I fully expect that to continue. Miami’s defense played well and I will swallow my pride and admit Cutler played better than expected. Taking down the Chargers on the road was actually kind of impressive. The Jets last week just did what they do best which is crumble in depressing fashion. They will do slightly better against Miami, maybe. Miami wins 24-13. 


What’s that about Brady being a system QB? What’s that about Brady being 40? What’s that about the Patriots defense? What you saw Week 2 is what you will get for the remainder of this season. They will not slow down, especially not for the Texans. JJ Watt is one of my favorite players in the entire league and that Goldberg style spear last week was a beautiful thing but he is only one man and it takes more than that to stop the New England offense. Watson impressed me and I almost wish he wasn’t about to get spanked but the fact is he will. Even with all their injuries, I take the Pats at home 31-14.


Man, this is going to be a good game. The Lions defense isn’t something to shake a stick at but the Falcons offense is so versatile. Meanwhile the Lions offense comes up with big play after big play but the Falcons D contained Rodgers and the Packers. This one is a bit tough to call because I respect the skill level of both teams enough to truly believe this could go either way. However, I don’t make predictions on maybes. With the arm of a future hall of gamer, and a fast, intelligent defense, I choose Atlanta for a road win 24-21.


I would apologize to Giants fans for the season they’re having but you fuckers won’t shut up about your 2 irrelevant rings (that you literally owed to your defense and O line). Eli fucking blows. Your top WR’s are now dropping passes. You have no serious running threat. Your defense is doing its best, but they are only human. Philly is executing well and firing on all cylinders. There’s just no chance New York has anymore. Eagles take an easy home win 42-13. 


This is the kind of football I look forward to. This is going to be gritty. This is going to be hard hitting. The Seahawks have a notoriously strong defense that Mariota and company will fight tooth and nail to break through and on a few drives, they will. The Seahawks offense however, will make a handful of crazy pass plays work but that’s about it. Ultimately, the Seahawks don’t look great this year so far so I have to go the other way. I take the Titans at home 21-10. 


I mean. I want this to be a competitive matchup but I have a hunch it isn’t going to be. Not because I’m doubting the Chargers, I still think they can have a solid winning record this season but the Chiefs are ridiculous right now. Kareem Hunt is having a HELL of a rookie season. Not only are his performance numbers phenomenal, just watching the guy play is a spectacle. He makes tacklers miss left and right, his field awareness is not that of a rookie, and his speed is intense. Smith is still throwing accurately and efficiently in and out of the pocket. The Kansas City defense is keeping the opponent score low as well. The Chargers can’t keep up with that. Melvin Gordon is damn good and Rivers is a future hall of fame QB, but that defense is not going to stay on Hunt’s level. I take KC 34-24. 


Poor Cincinnati. Well, poor Bengals defense. I feel bad for those guys. They’re working their asses off and getting ZERO help from the offense. Dalton is shit. Marvin Lewis is a joke of a coach. The Bengals are not going to the playoffs this year. Even if they did we all know they’d lose in the wild card weekend because they always choke in the first round. Green Bay is coming away from a tough loss to Atlanta but the Bengals are not the Falcons. This will be a nice, easy win at home. Packers take it 28-13. 


I want to start this off with a thank you to Crabtree and Carr personally. What a duo, helping me dominate my fantasy opponent. So let’s keep that rolling this week. I have no doubt it’s a good move to start both of those guys this week. Washington will put up more of a fight than the Jets did, for sure, but so could the cast of Glee. Washington has looked alright this season but hasn’t stood out as a team bound for the playoffs. Oakland on the after hand could very well win their division and grab a top seed in the AFC. This will end in disappointment for Washington fans. Oakland wins on the road 28-17.


The Cowboys let me down last week. Zeke was supposed to run 110+ yards and grab a TD or two. That obviously didn’t go well. Arizona on the other hand made a late comeback against the Colts. Don’t get me wrong, that’s not impressive. It’s the Colts. However, that means there’s hope for Cardinals fans this season. That said, I’m not picking Arizona. Call it personal bias, call it stupidity, I don’t care, I’m still backing the Cowboys. Prescott is going to feel like he has to prove himself to the Dallas fan base and the same goes for Zeke. I expect polar opposite numbers of what we saw against Denver. I take Dallas on the road in a close one 17-14. 

As always, thanks for reading! Whether you agree with me or not, share this and all my other posts with your friends and family. You guys can take my “clairvoyance” and debate it. Don’t forget to follow all the social media from our home page. Come back next week for a recap of these games and a gaze into my week 4 crystal ball. 


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