Week 3 Enters The Twilight Zone

If you made any actual bets based on my predictions for this week, I’m half sorry. I can’t take full responsibility because we all know damn well this was a weird week. Blake Bortles threw for 244 yards and 4 TD’s. What world do we live in that he can look like a Brady or a Rodgers or a Matty Ice? I’ve put some thought into it and I think I figured it out. This week, the NFL didn’t just go to London, it packed everything up and jumped straight into the Twilight Zone. I’d cue the music but that’s not in the Best Losers budget just yet and there’s no way I’m paying for it myself. Let’s take a trip into an alternate dimension to discuss the results of week 3.

LA 41 @ SF 39

Since when does Brian Hoyer go 332 yards with 2 TD’s? Jared Goff put up 292 yards and 3 TD’s while missing only 6 of his pass attempts. He threw an almost perfect game. How did neither of these defenses slow these guys down? Gurley looked like AP during his rookie season, Hyde even looked damn good too, and Watkins finally gets some numbers on the board. I call this one a perfect storm. They had the perfect matchups to make both offenses work. There’s just no other explanation for this. Maybe I was a little harsh on the QB situation for both teams saying it would only be 17-10 but I was giving the defenses credit that they clearly didn’t deserve this week.

BAL 7 @ JAX 44

The Jaguars are becoming a huge pain in my ass. They looked good week 1 but they blew it week 2 so I figured week 1 was a fluke. It wasn’t the first time they opened with an impressive fluke game so it all added up. All of a sudden, these bastards go to London and treat the Ravens like a practice squad. Where the hell was Baltimore’s defense when Bortles was destroying all fantasy projections? Oh wait, they were too busy giving up first downs left and right. In fact, the Ravens defense gave up 6 penalties that gave Jacksonville a first down. That’s disgusting. The Jaguars played a damn near perfect game on both sides of the ball and on special teams. I hate to say it, but I expected the Ravens to be a higher tier team than the Jags. Jacksonville earns some respect this week. Don’t get comfy with it.

DEN 16 @ BUF 26

Sure, the Broncos have never beaten the Bills in Buffalo, but these teams? This year? It was possible. It was probable. Buffalo held that high power Denver offense to just 1 touchdown, only 92 yards rushing, and they picked Siemian off twice. What a defensive stand. Meanwhile, Denver’s defense let Taylor throw 213 yards and 2 TD’s. At least the Broncos held the running game to only 75 yards. The Broncos defense in my opinion is still a top defense and played that way. Taylor had a good game and ultimately, the Denver offense lost this game. More specifically the passing side of the offense. No touchdowns, 2 interceptions, and 259 wasted yards. I expect better from the Broncos going forward and Buffalo will see a decline as the season goes on.

NO 34 @ CAR 13

I bet you anything the Saints defense had a chip on their shoulder from that abysmal display against New England. That’s why they showed up in a big way against the Panthers. They didn’t just pick Newton off 3 times they made him go 17/26 and only 167 yards. New Orleans let the Panthers get some yardage on the ground and even punch in one touchdown, but they tamed, adopted, and took Cam Newton as a pet this week. Brees showed up as expected. 220 yards and 3 TD’s for the future hall of famer. Brees always plays at a high level though. The Saints defense is what won this game and it’s a huge improvement for them this season. They’re going to need it in the coming weeks.

PIT 17 @ CHI 23

I have been trying to wrap my head around this one since it went into OT which it never should have. Look at these two teams on paper and tell me you would’ve picked the Bears. You wouldn’t! Nobody would! The Steelers offense played pretty well actually. Bell averaged 4 yards a carry, Brown caught a TD and went for 110 yards. Roethlisberger threw 235 yards and a TD but he also went 22/39. I mean that’s pretty close to half of his pass attempts being incomplete. That’s what cost the game this week in my opinion. Chicago didn’t necessarily play amazing. Howard did phenomenal don’t get me wrong, he ran for 139 yards and 2 TD’s but Glennon threw just one TD and an interception. Let’s also not forget about the jabroni that fumbled an easy touchdown at the 1 yard line because he got cocky and lazy. If there was an NFL version of Shaqtin A Fool, that would be number one this week.  I think ultimately Big Ben just missed his target too many times. Can’t miss almost half your throws if you want to win even if it’s against a low tier team.

ATL 30 @ DET 26

What a tough ending play for the Lions. In my eyes, the clock should’ve run off like that and they should’ve had one last play to get the touchdown. Both teams brought the defense this week in an attempt to give their respective offenses a chance to put up scores. The difference maker in this week’s game was the Atlanta defense. Now you’re already thinking I’m crazy because the Lions defense picked off Ryan 3 times and one of them was run back for a TD but hear me out. The Atlanta defense held the Lions running to a grand total of 71 yards. They held Detroit out of the end zone most of the game and forced them to take 4 field goals. If the Falcons defense had done even just SLIGHTLY worse, the Lions would’ve scored and held a lead and won it. Matt Ryan may have had 294 yards and 2 TD’s, but he needs to watch those interceptions. 3 in one game is a pretty bad look and it won’t fly when the playoffs come around. He owes his defense dinner.

CLE 28 @ IND 31

Jacoby looks good over there in a Colts uniform throwing 259 yards, 1 TD, and running in 2 TD’s. I told you the Colts would do better with Brissett under center. Now, granted, they played the fucking Browns this week, but they still looked good doing it. On the offensive side at least. The Colts defense allowed a crap Cleveland offense to punch in 4 TD’s. Sure, they picked off Kizer 3 times, but they couldn’t keep him out of the end zone on foot or in the air. If Indianapolis keeps playing like this defensively, they aren’t going anywhere near the playoffs this year despite having Luck back or Brissett continuing to start. The Browns played alright I guess but to be fair, the Colts have sucked this year for the most part. I think this was a sort of dud vs dud type game and won’t mean anything in a week. Both of these teams will end up with losing records.

TB 17 @ MIN 34

Where the hell did Keenum come from? Since when does he throw 360 yards and 3 TD’s? I’ll give him respect considering I said the Vikings were going to be shit until Bradford was healthy but that Vikings defense did the real work. The Buccaneers could only manage to rush for 26 yards. That is unreal. They allowed Winston to throw for 328 yards and 2 TD’s but they made him pay with 3 interceptions. Keenum played extremely well but Winston could have kept pace or worse if Minnesota’s defense hadn’t stepped up big time. Keep your eye on those Vikings this season. I don’t think the Bucs will lose like this all year either, they’ve got a mean defense that will step up next week.

HOU 33 @ NE 36

Tom fucking Brady. The greatest quarterback to ever play the game threw 378 yards and 5 TD’s and lead the game winning drive in under 3 minutes. What more evidence do you need that he is the GOAT? I could sit here and praise Brady all day and I will admit he had some fumbling issues this week, but I really want to focus on the New England defense for this game. They managed to get 2 interceptions even though one was last play of the game and could’ve just batted the ball away but they also let the rookie Watson throw for 301 yards and 2 TD’s. Watson played pretty good in my opinion and I think he’s earned himself a starting position for the season. He has a good career ahead of him. The Texans defense was able to stop the Pats run game and hold them to 59 yards but they were useless against that versatile receiving group. How about that Cooks guy? He is the best offseason move the Patriots made. He caught 5 passes for 131 yards and 2 TD’s including that clutch game winning TD pass where he secured it and planted those feet before falling out of bounds. The Patriots offense is out to brutalize their opponents. I only hope the defense continues to improve. Houston’s defense needs work in the secondary but their offense has the ability to take them back to the playoffs this year.

MIA 6 @ NYJ 20

This is one of those weird ass games that shouldn’t have gone down the way it did. Josh McCown actually looked like a good QB. The Jets defense held an opponent to just 6 points. Jay Ajayi got me only 2.5 god damn fantasy points. What the fuck happened, Miami? I get that Cutler is about as dookie as a QB can get but come on! You have a defense that should’ve made McCown look like he was playing the wrong sport. You have one of the top running backs in the league. I refuse to take the Jets seriously despite them shutting Miami down in this game. Miami needs to work on basically everything as the season continues. New York will suck again next week.

NYG 24 @ PHI 27

I’ll admit, I didn’t actually watch this game live so when I went to check the highlights and the stats to write about it, there was a split second where I saw Eli throwing 366 yards and 3 TD’s and almost shit my pants but then I saw the 2 INT’s and it all makes sense. For the 1000th time I give this game to the defense of the winning team. Philly may have given up those 3 passing TD’s but they got the interceptions and more importantly they held the running game to only 49 yards. Wentz played alright with 1 TD and 176 yards in the air and tons of credit to Philly’s running backs putting up 193 yards and 2 TD’s. I thoroughly expected the Giants defense to perform better than the offense but that was not the case this week. Ultimately it came down to a 61 yard field goal from the rookie Elliott and what a fucking kick it was. If that isn’t a fluke, we could be looking at someone the Pats will try to trade for. Look for the Eagles to continue playing well and the Giants to return to blowing ass.

SEA 27 @ TEN 33

I underestimated the score of this one but I did say it would be a good game. I must immediately give props to Russell Wilson throwing a monstrous 373 yards and 4 TD’s. Sensational stats and sure to make fantasy owners bust both nuts simultaneously. However, Seattle still has issues. They ran a total of just 69 yards on the ground. Wilson despite his dominating performance, only completed 29 of his 49 pass attempts. Why the hell is he throwing 49 passes anyway? The Titans won this game not because of their defense so much as the versatility and flexibility of their offense. First you got Mariota throwing 225 yards and 2 TD’s. Next you have Murray rushing for 115 yards and 1 TD which was just part of the 196 yards the Titans got on the ground. I should mentioned Mariota was responsible for 27 of those too, actually. The Seahawks defense didn’t look like themselves this week but I’m sure we’ll see them dominate again soon. I also want to point out the Titans kicker Succop got me 15 fantasy points while he was knocking in 4 field goals and is one of the very few players not to disappoint me this week.

CIN 24 @ GB 27

Congratulations Bengals fans, you finally got touchdowns! Dalton gave you 212 yards and 2 TD’s while your defense managed to keep you in the game until they really needed to show up and that’s when they quit. You can’t win, can ya? Cincinnati finally gets the offense rolling and the defense gets beat during the home stretch of the game. I feel bad. Sort of. Green Bay looked like absolute shit in the first half but boy did Rodgers do his thing at the end. He pulled away with 313 yards and 3 TD’s and he did it when it mattered despite tossing a pick six earlier in the game. Good things may yet come to the Bengals if the offense can keep playing this way and the defense gets through a full four quarters. I expect to see the Packers in the postseason and maybe even in the Super Bowl this year.

KC 24 @ LAC 10

Well, we officially know who the AFC West’s daddy is this year. The Kansas City Chiefs are absolutely amazing this year. Smith threw 155 yards and 2 TD’s this week but he didn’t need that many yards because Kareem Hunt put down 172 rushing and squeezed a TD out of it too. As if that wasn’t a good enough performance, the defense went ahead and picked off Rivers 3 god damn times and made him miss 20 of his 40 passes. Whatever is in the water in KC, sign me the fuck up. After watching both the Raiders and the Broncos get beat the way they did this week, I have no doubt in my mind the Chiefs win the division and potentially end up with the #1 seed in the AFC this year. The Chargers won’t even get a wild card spot at this rate. Sad to see the career of a QB like Rivers go this way because I actually like the guy and he’s had some very impressive seasons. It might be too early to say it, but I think he’s going to have to wait until next season to take a shot at a postseason run.

OAK 10 @ WAS 27

Are you kidding me? This isn’t real life. It can’t be. Since when does Carr throw just 118 yards, only 2 TD, and manage to get picked off twice while Cousins throws 365 yards, 3 TD’s, and only missed 5 of his 30 pass attempts? Talk about role reversal! The Raiders have been dominant this year and looked like they could make a run for the #1 seed even but after this display against the Redskins I’m convinced they can’t handle the Chiefs. They rushed for 32 yards against the Washington defense. That will cost them in big games if they don’t shape up. The Redskins manhandled the Oakland defense. Big run after big pass after big run and so on and so forth. Oakland just couldn’t stop them. Not that I think they will have a 12-4 kind of season but Washington can grab a wild card spot if they keep playing like this. I sincerely hope the Raiders bounce back from this next week or else my fantasy team is fucked for the year.

DAL 28 @ ARI 17

Our final week 3 game wasn’t as close as I thought it would be. If you really take a moment to analyze this one, it came down to the defenses. The Cowboys got to Palmer 6 times while the Cardinals only sacked Prescott once. With that kind of pressure to the quarterback, and Zeke’s 80 yards and a touchdown, it’s no wonder the Cowboys took this road win. I’ll admit I’ve been shitting on Carson Palmer and last night he came up with 325 yards and 2 TD’s with no picks so credit to him for playing a good game. The passing game was great for Arizona but the rushing was held to just 59 yards. The Cowboys defense let Carson throw it around but they gave up nothing on the ground. The Cardinals defense couldn’t pressure Prescott or stop the run. The Cowboys had a rough second week but look good enough to head back to the playoffs this season. The Cardinals have work to do if they’re going to remain a contender like we all felt like they have been the last few years.

This was a week of “WTF” in the NFL and hopefully next week we can return to some kind of normality. Thanks as always for reading! Don’t forget to like and share our posts with your friends and family. Follow the social media links on our home page if you aren’t soft. Come back Thursday to see me whip out my crystal ball for week 4. If you got excited by me saying I was whipping something out, you’re at the right website.


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