You’re Kidding

The playoffs are rapidly approaching and teams are running out of time to make a run for the postseason. This season has certainly seen it’s surprises especially considering the Jaguars currently have a 96% change of going to the postseason and I imagine they’ll even do well. Let’s take a look at who’s padding their win column and who’s desperately fighting for a wild card spot in week 13.


I’m disgusted that these teams have the exact same record. At the start of the season I would’ve sworn up and down that the Cowboys would be at least 2-3 games ahead of the Redskins but without Zeke and with defensive issues, Dallas isn’t looking pretty right now. That said, I think this is their week to make a statement and actually get something done. The Redskins have played fairly well in recent weeks but I have a sneaking suspicion that ends tonight. Cowboys win at home, 24-20.


This has the potential to be a really good game to watch. Atlanta has seemed a bit on and off this season but last week they showed signs of life and the Vikings have laid down some smack downs this year. I think this game will come down to one thing and one thing only: The Falcons will choke at home. Vikings win, 28-17.


I’ll admit up front that I’m still on the fence about this game. Either team could win it and I wouldn’t be extremely shocked. That said, I think you have to look at the matchup of Detroit’s mediocre defense against a Ravens offense that hasn’t been impressive. I’ll take a Lions road win, 30-24.


Buffalo is going to be abused. Buffalo is going to be humiliated. Buffalo is going to wish they could just forfeit the game before it starts. The Patriots are hot as hell and will melt the Bills on both sides of the ball. Pats win, 34-14.


I was going to pick the Bears because overall they’ve just played better this year but call me bias, I am taking the 49ers simply because they are doing the smart thing and starting Jimmy Garoppolo. I have no doubt he will take his first start on his new team as a chance to prove he can seriously help them turn things around. Niners win, 30-17.


Normally I’d dump all over the Packers without Rodgers but they actually impressed me last week and nearly stole the victory. The Bucs on the other hand have basically spent all season declining more and more. By that logic, I’d be a fool not to pick the Packers at home. Green Bay wins, 24-10.


I can’t believe I’m going to say this so certainly but there’s just no way the Colts win this game. The Jaguars are a great team this year and they will pummel their division rivals at home to really seal the deal on their spot in the playoffs. Jacksonville wins, 35-17.


I think Miami is going to look like such a different team than they did last week and that is for two reasons. Firstly, when you get beat the way they did against a division rival, it has a way of pumping your adrenaline into your next match. Secondly, the Broncos are cold piss inside of a Dixie cup compared to New England. If you combine Miami’s hunger for a win and Denver’s inability to win you get the easy pick: Dolphins win at home, 28-21.


I have no idea who will win this game. The Chiefs have no identity anymore. They were on top of the league to start the season off and now they look like the Jaguars did 3-4 years ago. This could realistically go either way but I have to hope they can at least handle the goddamn Jets. If they lose this, I won’t pick them again. Chiefs win, 30-14.


This is a no brained. The Texans spanked the living hell out of the Titans earlier this season thanks to Deshaun Watson putting on an absolute clinic but they are without him and the Titans despite some of their issues are still a tough team. Fueled by home field, and a desire for revenge the Titans will win at home, 31-20.


Chargers win at home, 35-10.


This is a true test for both of these teams. The Saints just had their winning streak snapped by the Rams but the Panthers continue to impress week after week. There’s a couple of key points to watch in this game. Kamara has been an absolute stud for the Saints and will do so again at home. Brees HAS to be kicking himself for losing one to the damn Rams. Newton wants to redeem himself for a shit season last year but I think he will come up short this week. I’ll take the Saints at home in an absolute war of points, 37-34.


The Cardinals may have stolen a surprise victory last week but the Rams are definitely no joke this year and they proved that in a big way last week by taking down New Orleans. This one is too easy to ignore. Los Angeles wins, 35-17.


The Giants are benching Eli Manning to start Geno Smith. Do I really need to say anything else? Raiders win an easy one, 27-9.


I know Seahawks fans will scream about how they’ll be the ones to finally take down the best team in the NFC and prove they’re still on top but I don’t think it’s possible. Philadelphia is executing perfectly every single week. Seattle is too inconsistent and their offense still has so many missed opportunities. I’ll take the Eagles, 31-24.


If you think the Bengals can squeeze this victory out, you’re an absolute moron. Pittsburgh is playing amazing football and there’s no way Cincinnati can stop them. Steelers win this one on the road, 34-20.

There’s your safe bets for week 13. Thanks as always for reading! Don’t forget to share these posts with your football fanatic friends and family. Get your ass back here on Tuesday for a recap of each week 13 game and I will see you next Thursday for your week 14 predictions.


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